as usual on Sunday newspaper supplement was accompanied by the "magazine", magazine articles entertaining and usually pretty interesting. Sunday paragraph Society specifically page 38, published an article which reads Beatriz San Roman, entitled "WHEN ADOPTION OF FAIL ", which actually has no waste and as usual included link so you can read it.
http://www.magazinedigital.com/reportaje.php?cnt_id=2675
I would like to transcribe this part of where it refers to a case, the Angel, to finally be able to make some reflections on it.
In the article that appears in the digital magazine I guess due to an error at the end of the text include parts of same as missing from its proper place, so that as I have the review before me, I just copy that was posted:
The case of little Angel
"The first four years of the life of Angel passed like many other children in Wollo, the Ethiopian region of his birth. He learned to walk and play in the town of Dessie, and there would have grown had it not been for the appearance of a sinister character, who charged to find adoptable children to an orphanage in the capital, changed his life. It was he who persuaded his mother to Angel that her future was in Europe. There could have access to education and a better life .
Two months later, the little he would meet his new family: father, mother and her two new older siblings. The illusion that the adventure had begun the adoption was diluted slowly into an ever more stressful for everyone. Angel's arrival was a major upheaval in the life of this family, the professionals responsible for evaluating it had found a suitable candidate for adoption. Nothing was as expected. Angel seemed a difficult child, restless, angry and defiant. Found it hard to understand how, after everything that had happened to reach him, the little one refused to love and integrate into the family. Fifteen days after his arrival, went to the Social Welfare services looking solution.
And Angel? We must assume that it was not easy for him. Suddenly, his whole world had disappeared, and was in a strange place where no one understood his words, where everything worked very fast and different rules. I did not understand why he was there or when he would return home. Or maybe not coming back ever? At times, he enjoyed that, and games, the attention of adults who strove to make him feel loved and cared for, but insisted on calling for a weird name. But there were moments when he felt completely lost, as they do not understand what was happening or why his new parents will he looked so serious or rebuked. Unable to give them another way out, their frustration and distress made their way to explosive behavior. The shouts and reprimands increased their sense of loneliness and rekindled the few memories of his birthplace, the small world that was lost and where it was clear who was on his side. "It was a frightened child, to which was demanding too much," said one technician who intervened in the case.
Three months after his arrival in Spain, Angel was living in a juvenile facility. The technical administration had to give up and recognize that separation was necessary. There were too many open wounds in all: The parents in the other two children and the little angel.
The bright dream of a better life than they had promised her biological mother had been truncated. She does not know, and surely is sometimes imagine your child growing up happy in the first world. But Angel has failed so far this happy life but a nightmare of painful experiences that have not yet you can name. Ten months after his arrival in Spain, Angel continues to live in a center. Perhaps someday understand why the two mothers who had not dealt with it. Some day will probably find a family to help them heal their wounds and be invisible, this time, his family forever. Currently, only means that you can not trust anyone and he is alone in the world. "
Well what do you think of this story? While reading, I felt like my soul was torn and the tears began to flow, it was as if the pain Angel made me and penetrate every cell of my being, I felt I felt his pain, his sorrow, his anguish, his confusion, his "madness" and yet I still sit and cry ... I cried, I cry for Angel and Daniel and all the children have to go through these tremendous trances. Like them I am confused after reading this.
How is it possible? I wonder how? I would, not want to judge this family is not my job to do so, but really, if I could, if I'd like to ask some questions to them, the technicians of Social Welfare and everyone in general.
At the beginning of the story, saying that Angel was a boy growing up and playing like the rest of his people, Wollo, until it appeared that sinister character paid to capture adoptable children to orphanages ...
But people are not going to take to Ethiopia because the orphanages are full of abandoned children? Are they really abandoned or have to convince their families to the den with promises of a world " better for them?
A family that would ask first, and from respect What reason led them to be and parents wish to adopt two children? Did you think, evaluated, reflected enough before making the decision to adopt? Do we really think about the pros and cons of this decision for you, your family? Did you think of the pros and cons, on the implications in this case the weakest, adoptable child, deciding to include it in your family? Since this is a decision you, not him, consult him on anyone ... them no one consultation. Did you think carefully that adopting a child is a child damaged for life? Did you think that a child is not good luck that we adopt? Good luck is that I can live with his mother and father, failing that, it really has is bad luck, and this will make and this is to be considered. Did you think before you decide as they would to help the child overcome his painful past? Were they aware that the task would be arduous but worthwhile? Did you think before deciding what it would be terrible for the child, that you reject? "Nothing was as expected. Angel seemed a difficult child, restless, angry and defiant" say, "As expected it to be? Have you tried to close their eyes and for a moment put yourself in their place? Would you or your biological children are able to show in that circumstance, calm, serene, happy, in fifteen days, three months?
Now, I ask the technicians who have been granted the certificate of fitness of this family, also from the respect and especially since my ignorance on the subject: What kind of tests are to be to ignore the low resistance problems of this family? A four year old child out of their usual environment should behave and adapt well to other family environment, social cultural and fifteen days, or three months? Would you explain to applicants for adoptions of these things? Would you explain that to adopt a child is not exactly a bed of roses? What is not a fad? What is an act of enormous generosity and love, but you have to be willing to engage fully with generosity and love all that responsible? Would you explain to adopt is not like going to the shopping channel that give fifteen days of trial and if not satisfied can return it? Does it explain?
Allow me a secret: a little thing I give those families who have so little resistance to the conflict ... I say mostly because I have two wonderful children and grown up and married, loved and highly desired, but the path has not been all roses and even if there were, sometimes they, the roses had thorns.
And if Angel could you ask what you, as you feel stuck here in a center away from your family, your country, your people? If you had asked when the dark lord charged with capturing adoptable children to orphanages, if you preferred to come to Europe to be "someone in a brave new world, or stay in Wollo with your buddies running and playing, or be happy , and with your mom and family are poor but what would you have responded? What would you have preferred?
To you who read me with such patience, I wonder do you see the pain? Does the of these children as Angel or Daniel? Does the mine? I, like everyone has said great, I think all men are brothers, my brother's pain is my pain, I weep, why I write, so I raise my voice and gold ...
Finally, some words of Epictetus:
Nothing great
suddenly appears. Just
so happens to a bunch
of grapes or a fig.
if you say you want
a fig, I answer
you have to wait
time.
Let first bloom,
after take fruit
and finally mature.
