Article published in No. 23 of the Revista Saber Alternative.
Today adoption is a very common, we would have to look at where these adoptive parents carry out this act.
Bert Hellinger tells us that the place of children is next to their parents. When someone takes children to address the lack of own children, this is a serious intrusion on certain orders.
Adoption is justified when both parents died or the child was abandoned. In such a case, when someone receives the child and raises him, is something justified and large. When a child is taken lightly, taken from their parents and grandparents, is a great injustice.
Sometimes adoptive parents do not respect the origin of that child and then the child is revealed and the problems begin because the child is always faithful to his original family comes from there and if the source does not is respected, the child is not going to respect the adoptive parents.
Already in the 70's, Spain was in a great wave of children adopted were times where a young woman became pregnant, was not looking good in society and then those children were taken by the shame of the mother and family. In some cases, these adoptive parents told him not to those children who were adopted but the soul knows, and manifests. also thought that if they were told they were adopted, but no more, as the adoptive family is believed better than the original family. "I do better than you" and this is a great lack of respect for the child and its origin, and that children should be with your family, whatever their destination, they have dignity.
I was adopted a newborn and my greatest desire was always to meet my mother and the social response was always that "parents are raising you, but that it is not because parents are those two people that make life possible.
In my soul had great difficulty that made me feel very lost, because I was faithful to my home system and was faithful to my adoptive parents, as they held my life and always tried to give me best. This caused me a great imbalance and did not know what my place, where truly belonged. Now I know that I belong to my family and my home dynamic belong there, and I repeat lots of my biological family while I'm tied to my adoptive family. This I know because I have had the good fortune to meet my mother and thanks to the training of family constellations, I have researched my family and then I discovered that I have repeated many of the dynamics of my family, without knowing and not knowing anything them.
My adoption was handled in a hospital run by nuns and my grandmother when she was two years old was left in a convent. She grew up without their mother, as I did without mine. She was fourteen years old could return to her mother who had gone to live in Morocco thirty and I had the opportunity to meet mine. And now to the broader perspective I know that this was the underlying dynamics in my family and not blame, just thank you and I take it. And now I can understand that where I thought my mother loved me, now I know that was a great act of love
When some parents opt for adoption, they must know that not only take this son but also his entire family system and that the adoption is successful, they must respect the origin. When that source is respected the child may live peaceful and can thank the adoptive parents all they give.
Today we find that there are many foreign adoptions, the adoptive parents want to live peacefully giving that child all their love, they respect the family of origin, country of origin, culture of origin. If your thinking is "I saved and we offer a better life" may not really help that child. And then it generates conflict and sometimes these parents are making too big and some choose to return the child. And this is doubly hard for the child and that is repeated in his unconscious the "do not want me."
So when one wishes to adopt should look at what your needs and whether that need is fill a void, then it is better not taken. Adoption is very serious and should not be decided lightly because the pain can be very large and the consequences of involvement can cause great misery.
The appropriate approach is adopted taking into account what the child brings: their family, their country, their culture and destiny. And then the adoption can be achieved.
From here I thank my birth parents for giving me life and my adoptive parents for bringing sustained.
Rosario Lopez Love
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